Topic of Discussion

“Your eggs look good.” That’s what my doctors tell me every time I go in to see them. So, with this last cycle I didn’t expect anything to be different, and it wasn’t until I got a phone call from one of my doctors who informed me that I had been the topic of discussion at their last department meeting. Apparently, my case is quite puzzling and the doctors are baffled as to why the treatment isn’t working for me considering how “good” my eggs look and how many I produce each month, not to mention how strong my husband’s little swimmers are. On paper (and on sono) everything is wonderful. I should be picking out names for twins or triplets even, but in my crazy life, I’m missing shots like Shaq at the free throw line. I can see the basket and I got skillz, but making babies just isn’t my thing.

So, what Dr. Badnews had to say wasn’t unexpected, but difficult to hear nonetheless. Basically, if this cycle doesn’t work, I should seriously consider in vitro fertilization. What!?! First, IVF is expensive - $18,000. Second, it’s not guaranteed, meaning if I don’t get pregnant, I don’t get my money back. Since, I’m my blessed with many things and material wealth not being one of them, this option was not feasible. So, what did I do? I cried. I cried because I wasn’t getting pregnant, I cried because my doctors, who are experts in their field, couldn’t tell me why, and I cried because my only other option was one that would cost me thousands of dollars that I did not have. In the middle of my blubber and bawl session, I got a revelation – and this too shall pass. I immediately thought about all of the situations I’d been in that I thought would end the world as I knew it, and I managed to get through each and every one of them with flying colors and a lesson learned. There are so many people in my life who are supporting me in this time of unimaginable heartache and I am so grateful. I’m sure that this situation, as with others in my past, will lead me toward many blessings – in due time.